Have you noticed yet? (In your persuasion adventures), every person you meet is going to have some sort of objection to what you’re trying to do.
If you’re trying to get a person to buy your products or services – they will have objections.
If you’re trying to get a lover to be with you sexually -- they will have objections.
If you’re trying to get your kids to clean up their room they will object in some way, shape or form.
And the more demanding or “socially unacceptable” your ideas – like getting your spouse to have a threesome (which I’ll show you how to introduce to him/her later in this newsletter)... the greater the work you’ll have to do to win their way of thinking.
Personally, I like to think of every influencing conversation as a means to “find the objections, and shatter them.”
So how can you do this?
Well, let’s take an example of selling a product or service. The dialogue might go like this:
OBJECTION: “I already tried a product like this before.”
YOU: “Here is a list of people who were in the same shoes of you that reviewed this product and got amazing results with it, read what they have to say.”
OBJECTION: “Well, I don’t know if I can do it.”
YOU: “A test was recently conducted with average adults with a 99.7% success rate. Here are the statistics.”
OBJECTION: “But I don’t think I can afford it.”
YOU: “Do you think that maybe if you didn’t try this out, that you’d be losing dearly in the end? Think about it: if you keep doing the same things, you’ll only get the same results. What I’m offering you is a way to short-cut your expenses by showing you the roadmap to put more money in your pocket, without the headache and potential financial loss that will probably occur as a result of you trying to figure all this out on your own. Wouldn’t you rather take the easier route?”
YOU: “Well, if there’s nothing holding you back anymore, are you ready to make a purchase today?”
OBJECTION: “I’m not sure.”
YOU: “What are you unsure about?”
OBJECTION: “I don’t know. I’m not sure if I can trust you.”
YOU: “Well, here’s something you CAN know. We’ve been in business for over 25 years. Hospitals, government agencies, and private businesses have all used our products. Here’s a compiled list of them. Here’s the number to the Better Business Bureau as well. We’re listed with them. Would you like me to get them on the phone so you can hear with your own ears that we are a company you can trust?”
OBJECTION: “Well, I guess everything sounds right. Where do I sign?”
See how it’s nothing more than objections? Too many people make the mistake of trying to persuade others without finding out first the reasons why they don’t want to do what you want them to (objections), and shattering them!
My wife just asked me the other day if I would like to move the swing set. I replied “No. Not really.”
She actually threw quite a fit. She got angry with me, yelled and screamed with a few slightly disturbing remarks to go with it.
You know what I did?
I rebelled even more! No way in hell I was going to do it now. Had she reacted a little differently, or better yet: found out what COULD make me want to do it right away, then she would’ve had more success.
Instead, she started her rant by asking the worst one-worded question you could ever ask that you should NEVER ask when a person raises an objection.
What’s that one word?
Why is this THE WORST question to ask? Why? Because it makes me focus on the reason “why” I don’t want to do something.
She asked me “Why don’t you want to move the swing set?” Instantly my mind gave me the images of all the reasons why. It re-enforced even more that I didn’t want to do it right now.
Had she explained to me the truth behind “why” *SHE* wanted it moved, I probably wouldn’t have hesitated.
Here’s how the story went.
Her father built my son a swing set. Nice gesture, right? What a great grandpappy!
She and I were at the movies one night and when we returned home, there it was -- sitting in the middle of the back yard. No warning. No asking. He just did it.
A pleasant surprise?
Not hardly. It was actually the most irritating piece of work the eyes had to look at in our entire yard. It stuck out like a sore thumb and looked like one of those medieval catapults! You know, those ENORMOUS wood built machines that sling fireballs at castle walls?
Yep. It looked like the little trolls in our back yard were about to go to war with us. I guess they didn’t like us being there.
Anyway, to make a long story short, my wife was in quite the predicament. She actually didn’t like the swing set – at all. But how in the world, after telling him she wanted one, could she call her dad and tell her she didn’t want it?
Basically, we were stuck with it. Since she was feeling so embarrassed, she asked me if I wanted to move it. She didn’t take time to explain to me the reason why. Instead, she tried to get me to explain the reasons why I didn’t want to!
See where she went wrong?
Then, to top it off, she said, “You don’t like it!” I agreed. Then she had the courage to say “Well fine. I’m going to call me daddy and tell him you don’t want it here and that it’s too big so to come back and get it.”
Oh no you don’t you little worm! Don’t you DARE threaten me with that garbage!
So I took a walk.
Finally, after all the steam inside me blew away, I came home. She was crying. She finally explained to me how she really felt about it. I then explained to her how her actions made me feel and that all she had to do was explain to me the reason why.
The reason why. Another powerful concept I’ll teach you in another blog post.
Anyway, do you see the difference?
I had an objection. She wanted me to do something out of the blue. The first rule she violated was she allowed me to give her a yes or no answer.
Instead, she could’ve said “Nathan, I hate that ugly piece of work my dad brought over and I feel really embarrassed where it is. Could you please move it over there because it will make me feel a lot better? Otherwise I won’t get any sleep tonight and be a real crabby butt in the morning.”
That would’ve gotten me moving!
There is guilt in that sentence too, isn’t there? If I say no, I’ll be an ass. If I say yes, she feels better and I like my little princess to feel good.
OR... she could’ve said “You love me, don’t you?”
“Well, I don’t feel so good about this catapult in our backyard, and I know that because you love me you would move it for me, and the only question is when. So if I helped you, would you move it with me right now?”
Do you see where I’m going with this?
If I say to you: “Would you like to buy my products now?”
You could say yes or no. Or I could take a different approach to get you to imagine buying my products or services. I could instill guilt. I could get you into the “yes” mode.
I could say “I would really appreciate it if you would contribute to buying one or all of my courses if you could because I have taxes to pay, and if they don’t get paid then this site will have to come down.”
Wouldn’t that be a more compelling reason to do what I ask then to come out and ask you to just buy it?
Of course it would!
Anyway, think about objections when you’re talking with other people and trying to get them to do what you want.
Ahh yes, I almost forgot.
If you wanted a threesome with your spouse, I bet instantly you can “hear” in your mind them giving you a bunch of objections. You could then formulate a hypnotic pattern to use that will shatter them based on your assumptions.
Or you could say “Just for fun, if you were to imagine that everyone on the face of the planet had multiple lovers – that it was a law that you had to have at least two lovers, would you rather be with two men, or would two women and a man at the same time suit you better?”
Seems harmless, doesn’t it? You’re just asking a “hypothetical question.” Who cares? So what! It’s just a fun little thing to talk about to keep from being bored!
They might respond “Oh I would never do that.”
Instead of asking WHY, you could say “So if everyone was doing it, you’d be the one and only person who weren’t?”
They respond: “Why, what would YOU do?”
“I think two women would be enough to deal with let alone three. So now that I told you, what do you think you’d be more comfortable with?”
She objects (if you look at it this way): “Well, I think I would rather be with two men.”
You: “Oh, so you like the idea of being dominated, humiliated, and even quite possibly physically hurt by two bi-sexual men than to be loved, pampered and nurtured by another woman and a man?”
See where I’m going with this? If you haven’t figured it out by now, this conversation is underway and could easily steer into discovering ALL of their objections, and shattering them. Who knows? Maybe you hit the nail right on the head and experience that after all. Maybe not.
Whatever happens, I’m not responsible for the pain and misery that might happen as a result of you actually getting into a threesome. And make sure you use a condom!
Anyway. Just a bunch of thoughts. Until next time...
Get out there and be somebody!
P. S. For the record, this entire article was completely made up and untrue to prove a point (and it sure was a good story, and point, wasn't it?) Oh yes, my wife's father is actually a world class carpenter.
P. P. S. By the way, I wrote the first postcript because someone close to my wife in the bloodline thought that it would be in his best interest to tell her father about this article I had made up with whatever intention he might have had. If you are him (and you know who you are), it's okay, we understand and forgive you... because someday you'll realize that family is meant to be together and not split apart.
P. P. P. S. If you're not the person I'm talking to in the second postscript, I apologize that you have to be in the middle of this. But someone has to say something. I'll do anything for my wife -- even when she doesn't ask me to.
(Without the Mumbo Jumbo)