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Are You Guilty?

By: Nathan Blaszak, CHT

I love my wife. She’s such a great woman. She takes care of Micah full time and even finds time to help me with some business responsibilities. She enjoys it tremendously.

She also puts up with my long hours of working constantly. You see, I love my work, and I love my family. But at times I’m so busy doing my work that it seems like I’ll disappear for days in my office.

Anyway, in a previous post, I promised to reveal to you the device my wife used on me.

You see, she said to me, “Nathan, tomorrow when I send out all those home study courses, could I have money to buy this necklace I saw at the jewelry store?”

Hmm... I don’t know about you, but I’d feel pretty darn bad to say no to her. In fact, I told her to buy some clothes while she’s at it, too.

This is a little psychological device called “Giving.”

It’s more or less the law of Karma.

What you give comes back. It creates guilt even, sometimes. For example, I would fill my entire body with guilt after all my wife has done for me to tell her that she couldn’t buy the jewelry.

On a side note, after this little escapade, I told her that I trusted her to just get the things she needed when she wanted them, as long as it was reasonable. Why not? She works hard and deserves all she desires without needing to ask me.

Onward.

Do you see how this can work for you?

If you do something for someone, you can always bring it up in a strategic way.

Notice how my wife didn’t say “I’ve done all this for you, the least you could do is buy me something for it.” Instead, she “hinted” into my awareness in a very gentle way to make me remember all that she has done for me, and asked me politely if she could buy a necklace.

Pretty damn good if you ask me. I instantly felt guilty for not getting her the damn necklace myself!

Let’s See Some Other Ways This Device Can Be Used: 

I wonder what would happen if you were a wife of the house and you were cleaning up after your husband all the time and you said “After I do the dishes, clean the bathroom, and mop the floors could you help me with the laundry?”

It would be interesting to see how he would reply. If he’s at all human, he’d help you do those things, anyway. Nevertheless, if you’re in the situation I’ve mentioned, it might be worth a shot.

The way I see it, if I was in your husbands shoes, not only would I help you with the laundry after saying something like this, I’d probably mysteriously find myself compelled to help you mop the floors and do the dishes, too! Hell, while I’m at it, I’ll cook you dinner!

Will this happen to you? Maybe. Maybe not. But it’s definitely worth a shot, no? And can you see how this doesn’t present an argument stand point?

It’s not like you’re saying “Hey, I’m working my ass off for you and the least you can do is help me with the laundry.” Believe me, you won’t win.

Men don’t like to hear stuff like that and this approach becomes counterproductive. The man will say “Yeah? While you’re here doing all this, I’m out at a job for ten hours sweating in a factory, putting food on the table, paying bills blah blah blah.” The husband can also do the same thing, though.

He could say before going to work “Hun, after I go put up with the boss for ten hours, and sweat my ass off all day long in the factory, when I get home, how would you like to explore our sexual boundaries so I can escape from the reality of how much I hate my job?”

Hey, men think about sex so many times an hour it’s ridiculous, so that’s why I gave him this idea. So what.

Anyway, do you see how this might work? It’s far better than to beg for sex. Or complain about not getting enough, and so on.

Here’s Another Way:

This is more of a way to protect yourself from this common device being used against you in sales - especially in car sales.

Here’s How It Works:

The salesman will act like he’s working hard for you. He’ll make the paperwork seem rigorous, the details painful, and he’ll do everything in his power to make you stay there as long as he can. Why? So you feel guilty about how “hard” he’s working for you. It makes you want to be sure to sign the contract.

It causes you to want to give back. It’s human nature. If someone does something for you, the least you can do is return a favor, right? So the next time you’re car shopping and you find yourself in this predicament, don’t let them press you.

If it’s not exactly the car you want, then don’t buy it. Hell, just because the salesman has worked this hard for you, doesn’t mean that you won’t ever buy a car from him. You want the car you want.

So if he’s worked this hard for you, let him know that when he gets around to finding the exact car you’re looking for, you’ll sign the contract – end of story. He’ll do it. He wants to make a sale. Just don’t let him hassle you. And if he does, politely leave or ask to work with another salesman.

Say something like “It’s nothing personal, but I would rather deal with someone else because I don’t feel comfortable working with you.”

I can see it now: pretty soon instead of being the world’s greatest covert hypnosis, I’m going to be dubbed “The Salesman’s Worst Nightmare!”

Oh well. I regress. Wanting to buy a Cadillac car, I was dealing with what I like to call “Old School” salesman. He tried using every lame tie down questions that back you in a corner. He tried to pressure me.

Then, when I told him that I didn’t want the damn car he was trying to sell me for the fifth time he said “Son, I’m doing everything I can to drive you off this lot in a Cadillac.” Lame.

The typical person (and I’ve witnessed it many times before) would think “Well, even though it’s not really the car I wanted, I don’t want to piss this guy off. I guess I can deal with not having all the features I wanted.” And sign the contract!

You know what I did? I said “Look, I appreciate how hard you have worked for me and would no doubt buy a car from you as a result of all your hard work, but it’s not going to be any of the ones you have on the lot. Here’s my card, when you find the car I’m looking for, I’ll personally hunt you down -- cash in hand.”

Two weeks later, I got a phone call from him and the exact car I wanted. Big deal. My moral of the story: Never Settle For Anything Less Than What You Intend on Having! Okay? Okay.

As you can see, this device is a powerful unconscious motivation you can use to instill guilt in another (a very powerful motivation) and the desire to give back. Please use it well.

Sincerely,

P.S. I wonder what my next post will be about? Can you guess? Just by reading this postscript, can you see the hint?

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